February -The Month of Relationships

February -The Month of Relationships

Written by Alain and Palika Trudeau, M.A. Psychology

Since this month is going to be Valentines Day, it is a perfect time to take a look at the quality of relationships in your life. In the larger sense of the word, this includes the one with your beloved, your family, close friends/collegues and with yourself.

Taking responsibility for the quality of your relationships is an action of love that delivers positive results.

Very often we unconsciously look at relationships as a venue for people to come into our lives to make us happy. If your happiness and sense of self comes from looking into another persons eyes, very soon you will feel disconnected from your core, vulnerable, fearful and dissatisfied with this unsustainable dynamic.

Try centering your relationships around the idea that before getting involved and happy with someone else, your dynamic with ones self must first be solid; Which means: Having a clear overall picture of who you are, awareness of your needs and what is important for you, consistently feeling your own value and loving connection to your self.

To get a sense of your inner connection, start by reflecting on your state of mind. Notice if you’re generally peaceful or in states of anxiety, fear and stress. Certainly your environment with someone else can’t be more peaceful then your own internal state of being.

If peace and happiness are eluding you, try remembering that it is not so much what we do, as it is the consciousness that we are putting in it, that brings satisfaction.

Next, if you’re in a life partnership, a nice question to ask ones self is “ What am I bringing that nourishes the other person? In other words, “Have I let this union become an old habit?”

Evaluate if your relationship is nourishing by doing a vitality check: Is it life increasing and constantly bringing new energy? It is stimulating, forward moving, healthy, and emotionally exciting? Is my heart open and do I feel positive, loving connection with my partner and myself?

From a philosophical point of view a relationship exists for the partners to help each other evolve in their consciousness and personal growth. Intimacy in a relationship is a nice display of what is going on with in our self and it is an interesting workshop to get to know who we are so we can make conscious improvements. If things are stuck in your current relationship, yet were satisfying at one point, chances are there is enough compatibility, and with a dash of introspection and professional guidance, it could become refreshed again.

Points to consider for creating quality relationships

First of all, get a solid understanding of your own person.

Notice and own your levels of happiness and distress.

Be aware of what kind of energy you are bringing into this dynamic.

Reevaluate your relationships regularly and see “What is the core problem in it?”

Consider if you have issues that are not solved and therefore bring toxic behaviors to the people around you?

Experience the joy of a balanced life

Experience the joy of a balanced life

By Palika Trudeau MA Psychology and Alain Trudeau

Do you ever feel like there is not enough time in the day? Do you ever catch yourself eating, talking on the phone and driving down the freeway all at once? Are you overwhelmed by the fast pace of your life as if you are always trying to get “over there”?

If you are tired of a stressful lifestyle it is up to you to seize the moments to enjoy your life, appreciate your meal and smell the roses. Balance comes from planning your life intentionally, according to your nature and needs.

For athletes it is a well-known fact to include in their training schedule regular periods (days or hours) of recuperation planned in advance to enhance their physical and mental performance. In business or sports the idea that more effort equals better results is known to be an utopia.

A knowledgeable planner understands that he or she is not a machine or computer but rather a human being with emotions, feelings, biorhythms, who is impacted by seasonal changes and stress from life transitions etc.

''Setting goals for your practice and game is an art. The trick is in setting them at the right level - neither too low or too high.''

GREG NORMAN-Golf superstar

It goes with out saying that if these facts are true for athletes and business executives; it also applies to people in all spheres of life.

Set aside quality time for family and loved ones. Make sure this special space is exclusively for them, devoid of business, anxieties, or “to- do” lists.

Get to know yourself by becoming aware of your maximum energy levels during the day.

Remember that the fast pace of cities and businesses are not always in synch with your natural body rhythm. Be self-aware and don’t just try to adapt yourself to other people’s expectations. Respect your nature because it is your own personal capacity.

By being conscious of who you are it becomes possible to take responsibility for your wellbeing, prevent burnout, disease; minimizing stress and feelings of being disconnected.

Keep some time for yourself where you can do activities that are satisfying and nurturing. Perhaps you have left something behind that is very dear to you, like playing music, reading, mediation, and sports activates, etc. because of lack of time. Remember that you are not just a mad money producer or unlimited caretaker.

The good news is that you are not a victim and your quality of life is a result of the choices that you make every day.

Begin the quest to eliminate stress by asking yourself these questions:

What part of the day am I most productive and energetic?

Do I have an occupation that fits my psychophysical nature?

Are my goals realistic and stimulating but at the same time are not over stressing me?

Do I maintain a healthy body, mind and spirit?

Do I honor my nature or have I just become a bi product of social conditioning?

Am I evolving in the right direction in my life?